Summer 2014: The Difference Graduating Makes

It’s amazing how summer went from being this glorious three months of uncontrolled freedom to just another three months in which the sun is simply shining more than normal.

Summer is no longer what it used to be. When I was younger, summer meant freedom, happiness, and most importantly, sunshine. Growing up in Oregon where I saw rain nine months out of the year, it was nice to have a break and have our 70-80 degree weather and attempt at getting tan. Summer meant tennis, riding bikes, sprinklers, and staying up “late”. During college, it became a time where I moved up my work hours to almost 40 hours a week, but there was still this freedom that existed. I felt like I was getting a break from my college life and had the freedom to do whatever I wanted. Sure, I had that same freedom when I went back to school, but in between homework, classes, work, and meetings, I felt as though my freedom was restricted to a few hours towards the end of my day, or in the early morning.

Now, summer has simply become a time when the sun comes out almost daily and I wake up every morning with the sunrise (thanks east facing window). When watching TV shows, I can say that I’ll finish it when I finish it, whereas in previous summers, there was always that deadline that you wanted to finish before the end of the summer and school starts. There’s no time limit on anything anymore. No sense of urgency to fit in all my “summer activities”. I can certainly do more fun outdoor activities during the next few months than I can other times of the year, but if I want to also do a fun activity in September when it’s still sunny, I can. There’s no school or homework or anything other than work.

The idea that work is my only activity is strange. Work is literally the only thing I “have to do”. With the other time I can: sleep, eat, drink, watch TV, read a book, go for a walk, visit my parents, hang out with friends. College had so many responsibilities. Work, classes, meetings, homework, activities. I felt like I barely had time to myself. But now here I am with this weird amount of free time and I don’t know quite what to do with it all.

I have no obligations on my days off. And I have days off. Like wut. There are days when I have nothing, nothing in my calendar. Even during my “free” weekends in college, I had plans. People to see, retreats to attend, study groups to go to. I’ve spent 16 years of my life in school and with everything planned out. Now I’m just planning on what TV shows I’m going to watch and in what order I’m going to watch them. Sometimes I think about developing an exercise routine, just to give myself something else to do. And I hate exercise…that’s telling you something right there. The other day? I got so bored I decided I should shower again. Then when it only took 20 minutes, I actually groaned out loud.

My friend invited me to hang out with him and I was literally bouncing with so much energy. I was outside, moving around, socializing, and not sitting in my apartment, binge watching another TV show. I maintain that binge watching can only be effective if you have other things going on in your life. It’s more entertaining to binge watch Orange is the New Black when you have 10 other things you could be doing. It’s that appeal of procrastinating, which we all deny we’re attracted to, but deep down we know we answer the door whenever procrastination is here.

I think part of it is that I feel lazy. Lazy and unproductive. Having a routine and structure makes you feel productive, even if you don’t do anything all day. You at least have events to attend, meetings to be at, and people to talk to. I don’t do good with unproductivity, which is probably why I want to be an event planner…aka always busy and having something to do.

So the rest of this summer will be interesting. Mostly because I’m trying to go with the flow and just let things happen. We’ll see how long this lasts. I’ll give myself about a month, maybe a little longer if I get hooked on a TV show.

Alright Summer 2014. Come at me.

The Beginning of the End

I’d say that graduating college is a lot like falling off a really big cliff. One day, you’re overlooking the world. You’re happy, on top, and filled with all this potential and inspiration to do big things. Life is pretty good on top of the cliff; it’s comfortable and familiar. You worked for years to get to the top and now that you’re here, you never want to leave. But people keep telling you that once you get off the cliff, life is even better. It’s more interesting, exciting, and full of so much greatness that you can’t imagine until you experience it. What they forget to say is that the falling part sucks. A lot.

So I woke up on the Monday after graduation expecting a lot more out my post graduate life than what I actually got. Since I’m already going with the falling off the cliff visual, let’s add another. Imagine that you’re told you are going to receive the best meal of your life (I’m obviously hungry right now). You’re told this amazing meal is awaiting you. However, you have to leave the feast of food you’re currently enjoying. You’re hesitant because the feast before you is amazing. But this promise of the best meal ever is enticing. So you leave your amazing meal and go out in search of this other meal. But now you’re told that you aren’t going to get it right now. You’ll have to wait for it. You’ll have to wait and settle for this other meal, which isn’t very good and tastes as bad as it looks.

I woke up on Monday and discovered that postgraduate life is a lot like that disappointing meal. I’m waiting on this amazing life that I’m promised and for the time being, I have to settle for this other meal, which is basically the same four things on a cycle: sleeping, eating, drinking, watching Netflix. Now don’t get me wrong. I love doing all four of those things without having anywhere to be. But had you asked me before graduation what I was going to be doing after college, I wouldn’t have told you I would be drinking copious amounts of wine and sleeping a lot.

So as we come to end of week one of being out of college and I realize that what lies before me is a long stretch of road and I’m just at the beginning of the race (I really need to stop it with all these cliff, food, and now running visuals). So this blog came to me the other day while commuting to work and hopefully it’ll provide some much needed reflection about what is going to happen over the next few months as I navigate this postgraduate journey.

While this post is mostly a negatively view of my life, I am optimistic. I know it will “get better” (for lack of a better phrase), and honestly, life isn’t too bad right now. Drinking and eating until I sleep for 12 hours and then watch Netflix for another 12? Life could be worse. Thank God it isn’t. Just not quite what I was expecting.

So for now, I’ll settle for this unscheduled, unplanned adventure that will get me somewhere someday. #onedayatatime #theressomepostivity

Also, let’s talk about how the song: Ain’t It Fun by Paramore is actually written about the life of college graduates. But maybe that’s just me…anyways, here’s a link to the lyric video so you can make your own judgment. All I’m saying is that some of the phrases are very similar. “Ain’t it fun living in the real world?” is the prime example…Anwyays, ignore me. I will literally find meaning in anything. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Izx9ADLjgbM

Now, as we wrap up the quarter, let’s reflect on Internet and privacy

I think one of my main concerns with privacy on the Internet is how far is too far in terms of collecting data. There is a line between collecting data for data analysis purposes and using that data in an unethical or inappropriate way. There is this increasing fear about giving away private information on the Internet, but there are still many who are oblivious to how much information they actually are giving away. Think about signing up for Facebook and how much information you give by simply creating an account. This is worrisome because it doesn’t take much to steal someone’s identity and if someone gives the wrong person the right kind of information, it could end up being a bad situation.

However, if people are giving away their information, then do they have a right to privacy? And here is the ethical debate happening with privacy on the Internet. If you willingly give away the information to a site, like Facebook, are you willingly giving them the ability to do what they want with the information, within reason? Obviously, they shouldn’t abuse it, but you still gave it to them in the first place. But when security is breached and information is taken from that site, obviously that is not at fault of the person who gave their information. And now we can cycle back to giving away information in the first place. If you give away your info, are you also taking on the risk that someone may try and steal it?

Another interesting thing is that the Internet is where a lot of communicatation is in today’s world. So there’s this difficult situation where you don’t want to give up your information on the web, but in order to keep up with today’s fast pace world, you need to be on the Internet. So it’s almost as though you don’t have a choice with giving up your information.

Also, can we talk about how online platforms are just getting smarter in general? I changed my Facebook password recently and when I tried to sign in using my old password, Facebook informed me that it knew it was me, but I was using the wrong password. Then it reminded me that I had just changed my password.

It’s crazy to think how far the Internet has come and how far it will continue to grow in the years to come.