It’s amazing how summer went from being this glorious three months of uncontrolled freedom to just another three months in which the sun is simply shining more than normal.
Summer is no longer what it used to be. When I was younger, summer meant freedom, happiness, and most importantly, sunshine. Growing up in Oregon where I saw rain nine months out of the year, it was nice to have a break and have our 70-80 degree weather and attempt at getting tan. Summer meant tennis, riding bikes, sprinklers, and staying up “late”. During college, it became a time where I moved up my work hours to almost 40 hours a week, but there was still this freedom that existed. I felt like I was getting a break from my college life and had the freedom to do whatever I wanted. Sure, I had that same freedom when I went back to school, but in between homework, classes, work, and meetings, I felt as though my freedom was restricted to a few hours towards the end of my day, or in the early morning.
Now, summer has simply become a time when the sun comes out almost daily and I wake up every morning with the sunrise (thanks east facing window). When watching TV shows, I can say that I’ll finish it when I finish it, whereas in previous summers, there was always that deadline that you wanted to finish before the end of the summer and school starts. There’s no time limit on anything anymore. No sense of urgency to fit in all my “summer activities”. I can certainly do more fun outdoor activities during the next few months than I can other times of the year, but if I want to also do a fun activity in September when it’s still sunny, I can. There’s no school or homework or anything other than work.
The idea that work is my only activity is strange. Work is literally the only thing I “have to do”. With the other time I can: sleep, eat, drink, watch TV, read a book, go for a walk, visit my parents, hang out with friends. College had so many responsibilities. Work, classes, meetings, homework, activities. I felt like I barely had time to myself. But now here I am with this weird amount of free time and I don’t know quite what to do with it all.
I have no obligations on my days off. And I have days off. Like wut. There are days when I have nothing, nothing in my calendar. Even during my “free” weekends in college, I had plans. People to see, retreats to attend, study groups to go to. I’ve spent 16 years of my life in school and with everything planned out. Now I’m just planning on what TV shows I’m going to watch and in what order I’m going to watch them. Sometimes I think about developing an exercise routine, just to give myself something else to do. And I hate exercise…that’s telling you something right there. The other day? I got so bored I decided I should shower again. Then when it only took 20 minutes, I actually groaned out loud.
My friend invited me to hang out with him and I was literally bouncing with so much energy. I was outside, moving around, socializing, and not sitting in my apartment, binge watching another TV show. I maintain that binge watching can only be effective if you have other things going on in your life. It’s more entertaining to binge watch Orange is the New Black when you have 10 other things you could be doing. It’s that appeal of procrastinating, which we all deny we’re attracted to, but deep down we know we answer the door whenever procrastination is here.
I think part of it is that I feel lazy. Lazy and unproductive. Having a routine and structure makes you feel productive, even if you don’t do anything all day. You at least have events to attend, meetings to be at, and people to talk to. I don’t do good with unproductivity, which is probably why I want to be an event planner…aka always busy and having something to do.
So the rest of this summer will be interesting. Mostly because I’m trying to go with the flow and just let things happen. We’ll see how long this lasts. I’ll give myself about a month, maybe a little longer if I get hooked on a TV show.
Alright Summer 2014. Come at me.
#postgraduatelyfe 